Update on First Round of Botox

I want to share how my first round of Botox went. Let me start by linking to the process I in deciding to try Botox as a treatment for my chronic migraines:

• Considering Botox (Part 1)
• Considering Botox (Part 2)

I also wrote a post right after having the injections (in August 2013):  First Round of Botox.

So, back to how things have been the past (just under) 3 months. I feel pretty confident in saying that I didn't get any relief from Botox. Things are a little complicated because I was off one of my preventive supplements for a couple weeks, right when Botox would've been starting to help. I ran out of the supplement (due to a problem with automatic refills) and was off of it for a couple weeks. Just before I ran out, I talked to my doctor, and we decided to just discontinue because it didn't seem to be helping (after a few months). I think the increase in pain was because of stopping the supplement - not necessarily that the supplement was helping, but just the process of getting off of it. 

I've been back on the supplement for about six weeks, I believe. My pain levels have been better the last couple weeks. But, is it due to being back on the supplement? Botox wearing off? Or any number of other factors? It's so frustrating to not know, since there are so many factors at play all the time.

Will I have a second round? I'm not sure. Honestly, I have very mixed feelings about it. I don't think it helped at all (and may have actually worsened the pain for a while), but that's not to say that another round wouldn't. I don't have such negativity about it that I feel that it won't help at all, but I'm also not super hopeful that another round will provide relief. My doctor doesn't really think it'll help, but he's willing to try another round.

With that said, I'm in the interim right now. My doctor said that insurance may not cover another round because the first round didn't provide relief. I've had my doctor's office submit a request for another round to be approved by my insurance, so I'm waiting to hear back (I would need to do the second round in the next week or two).

I don't know that I really want to do another round, though.

I was blessed that our insurance covered my first round of Botox 100%. So, I think I may go ahead and do a second round if insurance will cover it. But, I'm not going to pay out-of-pocket for a second round. I've found myself hoping that God will put obstacles in place, if I'm not meant to... not that that indicates that I'll get relief if He doesn't put up obstacles, but yea.

For better or worse, that's my first round of Botox experience. I'll let y'all know, if I end up trying another round in the future.

*Update:  I just heard back from my doctor's office. My insurance has approved another round of Botox. Since my insurance hasn't changed since last time, we're assuming it'll be covered 100%. So, I'm going to pray on it, and talk to Jeremy about it today. I have November 18 temporarily scheduled, but I told them I'd let them know whether or not I'm going to go through with a second round. So, please keep me in your prayers - I need guidance and discernment for what I'm supposed to do.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Training Wheels

*Note: I meant to post this November 4th, so please consider this that day's post.

Today's topic is "Training Wheels. Write about a time your health condition forced you to grow up and take the training wheels off (so to speak)."

I've lived with chronic pain since (at least) my teens. It wasn't always debilitating (thankfully), like it often is now. Living with chronic illness can definitely force you to grow up more quickly.

Most people in their teens and twenties don't visit their doctor(s) frequently - usually just for physical exams, vaccines, and if they get sick with something along the lines of a cold / flu. Many don't give their health a second thought because it rarely even appears on their radar. They're free to live life without thinking about the health-related consequences of doing even the simplest of tasks. Life is lived without the concern of whether or not their health with hold up that day, week, month, year, etc... good health is considered a given, somehow.

I started seeing specialists in my teens to try to diagnose and treat my symptoms (that, except for an injury which had a clear diagnosis and treatment, were all invisible illnesses without clear diagnoses or treatments). Around the same time, I also started tracking my symptoms in a health calendar, which I've kept ever since (though it has transformed over the years). Not as much when I was in my teens, but I've increasingly had to consider whether participating in something would increase the pain. Since my migraines became chronic, I'm faced with actively weighing out how doing even simple tasks will affect my health. My health is not only on my radar, but it's plays a prominent role in my life and the decisions I make daily.

After living with some sort of chronic pain for so much of my life, it's hard to pinpoint a single situation that my "training wheels" were taken off. Chronic illness forces you to acknowledge your limitations and accept your life as it currently is.

Perhaps one situation that required my "training wheels" to be removed was my decision to move to Tulsa to start graduate school, less than a year after my car accident. I went from living with my parents to living on my own, several hundred miles away. I had to figure things out on my own, in ways that I hadn't before. I'd lived on my own before, but never with the level of chronic illness I've experienced following my accident. It was frustrating because I knew what needed done, but I physically and/or emotionally couldn't do it all myself. Learning to ask for and accept help was (and continually has been) an important lesson living with chronic illness has taught / is teaching me.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Our LayLee

I'm not really feeling today's topic / prompt, as I suspect may be the case as this blogging month progresses. But, that's okay because I'm really just wanting to get back into blogging / writing, so no requirement to follow the prompts. :-)

So, I'd like to take a moment to introduce the newest addition to our family, Miss LayLee!

© 2013 Jamie V.

I've previously written about the first dog we got, Our Honey Bee. Honey and LayLee were actually fostered together off and on for quite a while. In fact, we met (and fell in love with) them both at the same time. Unfortunately, we were living in an apartment at the time, so were restricted from having a pit (LayLee). We adopted Honey in July 2012, and were able to adopt LayLee in August 2013.

© 2013 Jamie V.

We now have two dogs, and it's been quite a change. Despite the challenges, it's been so awesome to see the dogs learn and grow. LayLee and Honey are best friends, and now sisters. Jeremy and I are enjoying the bonds we're building with the pups. And, we're now a happy family of four.

The Little Engine That Could

Today's topic is the little engine. I wrote a blog post, The Little Engine That Could, a couple years ago.

I think I can I can begin (and maintain) an exercise routing, starting with walking more.
I think I can feel less guilty when I choose to take care of myself, even if that means saying "no" or canceling plans with others.
I think I can read and write more frequently.
I think I can help end the stigma of Migraine disease and Invisible Illness.

I know I can be a loving a supportive wife (and mom to my dogs).
I know I can be there for loved ones (even if not always in the ways I'd prefer to).
I know I can continue making small changes to improve my quality of life, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I know I can live a full and meaningful life, despite having chronic pain.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

National Health Blog Post Month & My Pain Diary

I've been out of the blogging world for a while, but I was just reminded that November is National Health Blog Post Month. So, I'm going to see about getting back into the swing of things!

Today's topic is favorite health apps. I actually wrote about this last year:  My Favorite Health App.

My favorite health app is, by far, is still My Pain Diary. You can check out the app website and Facebook page. I've been using the app for 1.5 years now, and it has been incredibly useful in keeping track of how I'm doing on a day-to-day basis, as well as allowing me to see patterns that I otherwise might never have noticed. It's truly been one of the most useful tools in my toolbox.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

Last week was Invisible Illness Awareness Week. I participated in a few of the chats, since that was easily done from the sofa, where I spent the majority of my week... but, I mostly missed being more actively involved. The need for awareness marches on, though, so on we go. This year, the campaign was focused on "I choose to __."

I choose to...

...not let my illness define me.

...find joy in the little things.

...try again tomorrow.

For the last three years, I've written about 30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know (2010, 2011, 2012). Some of my answers are the same or similar. But, I think it can be good to review how you've answered these questions in the past, so you can see where you were and how far you've come.

1. The illness(es) I live with is: Chronic post-traumatic headache/migraine (intractable, with and without aura), anxiety, depression, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Chronic migraines - 2008 (after a car accident). The others were diagnosed around 2002.
3. But I had symptoms since: dealt with headaches (and some migraines), anxiety, depression, insomnia, and irritable bowel syndrome since (at least) my teenage years.
4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: not always being able to take care of myself / depending on other people so much.
5. Most people assume: that nothing is wrong with me and/or that I can't hurt as much or often as I do.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: getting up without feeling rested, and  not knowing how much pain the day will bring.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, Lie to Me, CSI
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my cell phone
9. The hardest part about nights are: getting to (and staying) sleep, especially when the pain is bad.
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins: I'm not really sure, but actually fewer than I've taken in quite a while.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I have tried: massage, physical therapy, chiropractic, biofeedback, relaxation
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I'm not sure. At least with an invisible illness, I don't always have people looking at me strangely or asking me what's wrong/what happened.
13. Regarding working and career: I have been unable to work since the accident in 2008. I tried to return to graduate school for a year, but ended up taking a leave of absence and then made the difficult decision not to return. Since then, working and/or school hasn't even been an option.
14. People would be surprised to know: I am in pain (often severe) every single day... all day, every day.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: that I have changed, and things will never be the same. I have limitations that I have to live within, or pay the (often very high) price.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: plan the wedding of my dreams, with the man of my dreams.
17. The commercials about my illness: are very misleading as to what migraine really is and how debilitating it can be. The one about chronic migraine, where the lady is laying on the couch and everything is happening around / without her, is a bit more realistic.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: This could be a very long list... I miss being able to actively participate in life.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: who I was before the accident... I still haven't completely let go of that yet.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: have no idea what to do with myself (assuming "normal" is feeling "good," not what my "normal" has become)! I don't even know what life without pain is anymore.
22. My illness has taught me: to recognize the strength that I DO have. It is teaching me to TRUST God more... but it is definitely a long and difficult process.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Migraines are just bad headaches; take some pills and keep going / move on, it can't be that bad.
24. But I love it when people: Show that they care. Even just little things like: being aware of how bright a room is, asking if the TV/radio is too loud, rubbing my neck/shoulders/head, treating me like a person rather than the disease/illness, being considerate at a restaurant by allowing me to sit facing away from windows (so the glare shining off of cars doesn't worsen my pain)
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:

• "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
• "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4)
• "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart" (Jeremiah 29:13)
• "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6)

26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: keep yourself informed - research things online, ask your doctor questions, do your best to understand and articulate your experience with your disease/illness. Don't feel like you're alone - join blogging, church, or other support group(s) to help you through the difficult times that you will go through. Be ready for a roller coaster ride of ups and downs.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: how strong, yet vulnerable, I can be. Everything I do has to be a conscious decision to use my energy for that specific thing (even seemingly basic things, like taking a shower).
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: take care of me... When I have a bad migraine, my husband does everything he can to take care of me (feeds me, makes sure I take my medicine, massage my head/neck/shoulders/back/feet [if I can handle being touched], make sure I'm in a dark room and am as comfortable as I can be, and anything else that I need).
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I feel that we need to speak out and get more awareness, research, and understanding out into the public view about invisible illnesses - they are real and often difficult to bear.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: heard/validated, and hopefully a bit better understood. It gives me hope that invisible illnesses can be better understood, if only people will listen.