Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Mirrors (Feb 9)

I've never really ever had many mirrors in my house or apartment... I've never really seen the need to. I've never enjoyed gazing endlessly into a mirror at myself, though I mostly didn't mind looking at myself for a moment or two. There were times, when I was depressed - I would look into the mirror for a long time and cry endlessly for no real reason - but depression is its own beast.

Since my car accident and the onset of my chronic migraines, I've lived my life very much in the dark. Dark curtains shield me and all my belongings from the outer world and light. One day, I noticed that none of our decor included mirrors - of all the things hanging on our walls, none were mirrors, and most were canvas (so no glare from glass front). I decided that my migraines were the reason for not having mirrors - reduce reflections of light, etc.

But, tonight, for the first time in a long time... I looked at myself in the mirror. I mean, really looked at myself. I almost didn't even know the woman in the mirror. Who am I? Who have I become?

Everyone says that 'I am not the pain,' but... Who am I?!
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