Compassion in Greece

Yesterday, I posted about past anniversaries of my car accident:

• 3-Year Anniversary of Car Accident
• 4-Year Anniversary of Car Accident

October 10, 2013 marked the fifth anniversary of my car accident, here's what I wrote...

I had some anxiety leading up to today because I've had some difficulty on this day in the past. But, God blessed me with bringing a memory to my mind, reminding me that He always provides for my needs. Thanks to a Facebook post from my Alma Mater asking what our fondest memory of a certain professor is, I was able to re-live a moment that was painful, but comforting... and writing this blog post has allowed me to re-live beyond that moment.

Just a little back-story... I spent a semester studying abroad at my Alma Mater's campus near Rome. During the semester, the entire class and the Rome semester professors spend 10 days travelling together to a few different cities in Greece. Our Western Civilization professor offered amazing lectures at many of the sites along the way. It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I'm so grateful that I was able to participate!

The setting is Athens, Greece.

It was Carnival in the Eastern Orthodox Church (different date than the Western Christian calendar - think Mardi Gras), so the city was a big celebration. I decided to join the celebration in the evening with a group of friends - we were going to spend some time enjoying the festivities and try to find somewhere open to get something to eat.

After wandering around the city for a while, a migraine hit... HARD.

All I could think of was how am I going to get out of this crowd of people and back to the hotel?! I mentioned that I needed to leave immediately to my friends, and thankfully one of the guys said that he'd walk me back to the hotel and make sure I was okay. I told him I needed to get something to eat and something with caffeine to drink - we were able to find a Coke quickly, and then we stopped at the McDonald's just around the corner from the hotel for some chicken nuggets.

Unfortunately, I think I'd forgotten my migraine medication back at the Rome campus. See, these were before the days of chronic migraines... before the days of carrying my meds everywhere I go. I had frequent headaches, but was able to function through most of them. But, my more severe migraines weren't all that often. So, getting something to eat, caffeine to drink, and getting back to a dark / quiet hotel room was my plan of attack.

The girls I happened to be roomed with for those few days were understanding and helped however they could. But, the migraine continued.

If my memory serves me well... I spent the next day in the hotel room, doing my best to sleep off the pain. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what all happened, but I'm pretty sure I missed out on some things. A large group of us went to church service that evening for Ash Wednesday (in the Eastern Orthodox Church). I struggled making it through the service, and talked with a professor's wife afterward to see if she happened to have any medicine that might help. Again, these were before the days that over-the-counter meds were the equivalent to tic-tacs for me. She didn't have anything, but apparently one of the professors (or his fiance) dealt with migraines and had some meds and knowledge of migraine. 

I talked with this professor, and he helped get me some meds and made sure I was going to be okay. He told me that I'd be excused from the following day's class trip to the Acropolis. I told him that there was NO way that I was going to miss that trip! How could I miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like that?!?! He assured me that he'd help any way he could, if I decided to go the following day.

He checked on me the next morning at breakfast. I was still in quite a lot of pain, but was beyond determined to go with the group. So, he gave me a few suggestions on how to make it through the day outside in the blinding sun. I had sunglasses, a borrowed hat, a jacket or blanket draped over my head... luckily, we'd walk a bit and then stop and sit for lectures at various locations. He checked on me off and on throughout the day. I listened to him lecture. Someone helped make sure I was alright walking places. And, I peeked my head out to see the sites as much as I possibly could.

The Acropolis is one of the MOST interesting and beautiful sites I've ever seen! I would have deeply regretted missing the opportunity to visit it, so I'm glad that I was able to push through the pain and participate as much as I could. To this day, Greece (especially the Acropolis in Athens) is one of my favorite places in the world!

*I'm going to post a follow-up post to this later today, to share a few more reflections... so, please stay tuned.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

4-Year Anniversary of Car Accident

Anniversaries of my car accident have affected me in very different ways, over the last 5 years. Last year (2012) was a very difficult one...

• 3-Year Anniversary of Car Accident

October 10, 2012 marked the fourth anniversary of my car accident. It actually snuck up on me. I freaked out the moment I looked down on the computer and saw the date, everything just hit me all at once... and hard!

It was all I could do to reach out - I texted with a dear, dear friend that really helped me through that time... and many moments since then. I believe that the way she comforted me was amazing, and is worth sharing.

When someone is hurting (mentally, physically, emotionally), I think there are some important ways or things that someone can do to show they care. Not every person will necessarily be able to offer all of these, but hopefully the hurting individual gets them from one or several people.

Validation
She validated the pain and panic that I was experiencing: "What a horrific thing to suddenly remember and have on your mind. Seems normal given situation... Understandably upsetting. It sucks."

Offer help / support
She offered help: "What can I do for you? Trying to avoid saying trite things..."

Safety
She reminded me that I'm safe: "...want you to remember that you are safe."

Present moment
She brought my focus back to the present: "Look around you. See where you are. Hug Honey Bee. Listen to the noises of the house. You are safe."

Reminder
She shared a very important reminder that I've used over and over again: "Darling, remember PAIN TAKES AWAY OUR PERSPECTIVE. And you are really suffering right now and having memories. Try to stay in the moment, just for right now."

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

A Small Dose of Inspiration

I love quotes! I believe that words are filled with power, and inspiring words are simply priceless. Today's post is about sharing three favorite quotes. I'm not sure that these are my favorites, but they speak to where I'm currently at in my journey.

"I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."  ~Edward Hale 

"Don't be afraid of your flaws; acknowledge them and let God use you anyway. Quit worrying about what you're not and give God what you are."  ~Joyce Meyer 

"Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light."  ~Victor Raymond Edman

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Mary Poppins Bag

Today's topic is "Mary Poppins Carpet Bag. Write about what's in your bag / purse every day - and why!"

I have quite a few things in my purse... so much that my husband has actually referred to it as my Mary Poppins bag, or as my "bag of tricks." LOL.

I struggle with severe anxiety, if I'm not prepared. While some things are just nice to know that I have, other items have lead to panic attacks if I don't have them with me for some reason... even for short trips out. So, what are some of the things in my "bag of tricks"?

• Wallet - My wallet has all of my health insurance cards, as well as my ID, credit cards, and cash.

• Medications - I always carry my prescription migraine, anxiety, and nausea meds. I also carry a small container that has various non-prescription meds (namely, for allergies and gastrointestinal issues).

• Sunglasses - I always have my sunglasses because I use them so frequently. Without them, I don't know how I'd be able to even stand to keep my eyes open sometimes.

• List of medications - I keep a printed spreadsheet that contains my insurance information, contact information for my doctors, my medical history, family medical history, current medications, list of allergies (including medications), and a list of past medications I've tried (including dates, dosages, and side effects). This has proven helpful in the past, especially for visits to the emergency room... when you feel bad enough to go to the ER, the last thing you want to (or can) do is recall and communicate all of the information they continually request - it makes things easier for me, my husband (or whoever has to take me to the ER), and the staff.

• Cell phone - Of course, I always have my cell phone with me. It keeps me connected, and my health calendar is on my phone - easy access, all the time.

• Snacks - I always have some sort of snack in my purse. This has come in handy on many occasions. I don't know if I have a problem with my blood sugar level or what, but I can get very irritable and weak if I don't eat every couple of hours. I try not to let myself go too long without eating. I almost always have water with me, too - it helps me from getting dehydrated, and it helps with the dry mouth that I get from some of my medications.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Update on First Round of Botox

I want to share how my first round of Botox went. Let me start by linking to the process I in deciding to try Botox as a treatment for my chronic migraines:

• Considering Botox (Part 1)
• Considering Botox (Part 2)

I also wrote a post right after having the injections (in August 2013):  First Round of Botox.

So, back to how things have been the past (just under) 3 months. I feel pretty confident in saying that I didn't get any relief from Botox. Things are a little complicated because I was off one of my preventive supplements for a couple weeks, right when Botox would've been starting to help. I ran out of the supplement (due to a problem with automatic refills) and was off of it for a couple weeks. Just before I ran out, I talked to my doctor, and we decided to just discontinue because it didn't seem to be helping (after a few months). I think the increase in pain was because of stopping the supplement - not necessarily that the supplement was helping, but just the process of getting off of it. 

I've been back on the supplement for about six weeks, I believe. My pain levels have been better the last couple weeks. But, is it due to being back on the supplement? Botox wearing off? Or any number of other factors? It's so frustrating to not know, since there are so many factors at play all the time.

Will I have a second round? I'm not sure. Honestly, I have very mixed feelings about it. I don't think it helped at all (and may have actually worsened the pain for a while), but that's not to say that another round wouldn't. I don't have such negativity about it that I feel that it won't help at all, but I'm also not super hopeful that another round will provide relief. My doctor doesn't really think it'll help, but he's willing to try another round.

With that said, I'm in the interim right now. My doctor said that insurance may not cover another round because the first round didn't provide relief. I've had my doctor's office submit a request for another round to be approved by my insurance, so I'm waiting to hear back (I would need to do the second round in the next week or two).

I don't know that I really want to do another round, though.

I was blessed that our insurance covered my first round of Botox 100%. So, I think I may go ahead and do a second round if insurance will cover it. But, I'm not going to pay out-of-pocket for a second round. I've found myself hoping that God will put obstacles in place, if I'm not meant to... not that that indicates that I'll get relief if He doesn't put up obstacles, but yea.

For better or worse, that's my first round of Botox experience. I'll let y'all know, if I end up trying another round in the future.

*Update:  I just heard back from my doctor's office. My insurance has approved another round of Botox. Since my insurance hasn't changed since last time, we're assuming it'll be covered 100%. So, I'm going to pray on it, and talk to Jeremy about it today. I have November 18 temporarily scheduled, but I told them I'd let them know whether or not I'm going to go through with a second round. So, please keep me in your prayers - I need guidance and discernment for what I'm supposed to do.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Training Wheels

*Note: I meant to post this November 4th, so please consider this that day's post.

Today's topic is "Training Wheels. Write about a time your health condition forced you to grow up and take the training wheels off (so to speak)."

I've lived with chronic pain since (at least) my teens. It wasn't always debilitating (thankfully), like it often is now. Living with chronic illness can definitely force you to grow up more quickly.

Most people in their teens and twenties don't visit their doctor(s) frequently - usually just for physical exams, vaccines, and if they get sick with something along the lines of a cold / flu. Many don't give their health a second thought because it rarely even appears on their radar. They're free to live life without thinking about the health-related consequences of doing even the simplest of tasks. Life is lived without the concern of whether or not their health with hold up that day, week, month, year, etc... good health is considered a given, somehow.

I started seeing specialists in my teens to try to diagnose and treat my symptoms (that, except for an injury which had a clear diagnosis and treatment, were all invisible illnesses without clear diagnoses or treatments). Around the same time, I also started tracking my symptoms in a health calendar, which I've kept ever since (though it has transformed over the years). Not as much when I was in my teens, but I've increasingly had to consider whether participating in something would increase the pain. Since my migraines became chronic, I'm faced with actively weighing out how doing even simple tasks will affect my health. My health is not only on my radar, but it's plays a prominent role in my life and the decisions I make daily.

After living with some sort of chronic pain for so much of my life, it's hard to pinpoint a single situation that my "training wheels" were taken off. Chronic illness forces you to acknowledge your limitations and accept your life as it currently is.

Perhaps one situation that required my "training wheels" to be removed was my decision to move to Tulsa to start graduate school, less than a year after my car accident. I went from living with my parents to living on my own, several hundred miles away. I had to figure things out on my own, in ways that I hadn't before. I'd lived on my own before, but never with the level of chronic illness I've experienced following my accident. It was frustrating because I knew what needed done, but I physically and/or emotionally couldn't do it all myself. Learning to ask for and accept help was (and continually has been) an important lesson living with chronic illness has taught / is teaching me.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.