Songs That Moved Me Today

I've written several posts about how music has played a role in my life. I've even put together a couple playlists:

• My Playlist: Songs of Hope
• My Playlist: Theme Song(s)

I know I've kinda fallen off the bandwagon with posting each day (or close to it). I started to feel too much pressure to just "get it done," and that's too much stress. My mind just blanks and I hate the way I feel when writing or blogging feels like a chore or another thing on my "to-do" list. So, sometimes I just step back. I want to write when I have something to say / share... not just to fulfill a blogging challenge. I hope to be able to get back into it soon because I want to feel joy and relief from writing again.

But, today, God is speaking to me through music. I can't stand the flashiness of the TV, so I have Pandora playing on my phone. I'm going to share a song that I've shared before, but it truly has spoken so much to my heart, especially in the struggles of living with chronic illness / pain. So, I'll share it here, again... Perhaps it will touch you the way it has touched me. There's always hope!

There Will Be A Day by Jeremy Camp

http://youtu.be/k8gkDiTvloc

Another song just came on, and it touched me, too. So, I'll also share that one. I love when God speaks to me through music. I really need it today... it's giving me some peace and comfort.

Lift Me Up by The Afters

This song is filled with hope and promise. What a wonderful Savior we have! It is in Him that I find strength and hope.

You lift me up when I am weak / Your arms wrap around me / Your love catches me so I'm letting go / You lift me up when I can't see / Your heart is all that I need / Your love carries me so I'm letting go / You lift me up with your love

http://youtu.be/KBy2D8p5Kpw

Word of God Speak by MercyMe
Perhaps God wishes for me to spend more time with Him... I'm not good at being still and quiet, but I know that it is only through His grace and love that I can hold on to hope. So, I'll move when He says move, and speak when He says speak. But, for now I'll try to be still and hear His voice.

I'm finding myself at a loss for words / And the funny thing is it's okay / The last thing I need is to be heard / But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak / Would You pour down like rain / Washing my eyes to see / Your majesty / To be still and know / That You're in this place / Please let me stay and rest / In Your holiness / Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You / Beyond the music, beyond the noise / All that I need is to be with You / And in the quiet hear Your voice

http://youtu.be/4JK_6osCH74

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

My Favorite Health App

I use a few different apps for my health. I'll just do a quick blurb about a few of them, and then share much more about my absolutely favorite one.

• P Tracker Lite - a free period tracker that allows you to take daily notes of moods, symptoms, and intimacy. You can personalize / customize based on your own menstrual cycle. There's a paid version that offers more features and functions... probably more useful to help track fertility.
• Epocrates Rx - a free drug reference that allows you to search brand, generic, and OTC medicines. You can ID pills and check for interactions with the meds you take. You can also read notifications, get manufacturer contact information, etc.
• MyFitnessPal - a free calorie counter and diet trucker that allows you to track your calories (also includes food information like sodium, sugar, cholesterol, protein, etc. - so you can see your diet breakdown), water consumption, and exercise. You can track your progression toward your goals. I love this app because it allows me to make a goal to actually gain weight.

My favorite health app is, by far, My Pain Diary. You can check out the app website and Facebook page.

Here's the review I've officially submitted for the app:

This has been a great app to use as a health tracker for my chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, etc. I would definitely recommend it to others. 

Update: I've been using this app for 6 months now, and I love it even more. With the last update, I (like many other reviewers) had some problems with the app. But, Damon (the app developer) worked with me to correct the issue. I've never known an app developer that is so passionate about his creation and who will go out of his way to help others. I love the updated things he's added and is looking to add in the future. This app is simply amazing!

I'm beyond picky about what I use to track my health, but this has been so great!

• I love the customization that it allows. There's no pre-set list of symptoms that I have to sift through. I get to add the intensity (you can customize the intensity descriptions to what each number / intensity means for you - it does come with some pretty good descriptions, but you can customize), location and type of pain / symptoms; any triggers that might've caused it; remedies that I use; and notes where I can freely write. Everything is filled in by the user - completely customizable!
• There are even color flags, so that you can track multiple conditions or people.
• You can make entries posts private, attach photos, star entries (I do this on the days I take my migraine meds, so I can easily look at the calendar and see when I can take meds next), and automatically track the weather.
• You can view history (it hi-lights days based on the intensity of the pain selected for each entry (green, yellow, or red).
• There are customizable graphs, and you can customize reports that you can provide your doctor (the color flags I mentioned earlier can help you provide more specific / relevant reports for different doctors).
• You can back it up using DropBox, and now there's iCloud synchronization.

Clearly, I can go on and on and on about this app. I don't take recommending resources lightly, so my enthusiasm for this app is well-rooted and completely sincere. I'm happy to answer any other questions that people might have about the app - just ask away.

What are your favorite health apps?

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Giving Thanks

I'm thankful for so many things in my life, despite living with Migraine disease.

I've written about gratitude several times before, as I truly am blessed beyond measure:

• Blessed Beyond Measure
• Thankful
• Pain & Gratitude
• In My Head & Heart

I'm so thankful for having a place to call home... for having food and drink... for having a God that's always with me and loves me unconditionally... for having such an amazing husband, and for him having a good job (and good insurance)... for having a wonderful family... for having a sweet Honey Bee... and for so much more.

Since having chronic migraines, I've found myself noticing and feeling gratitude for even the "little things" - for being able to eat a full meal... for being able to take my dog outside... for being able to help cook dinner... for some days, it's being strong enough to know that I need help / assistance, asking for it, and allowing someone (usually my husband) to help me... and for completing micro-tasks that others so often take for granted.

I'm so grateful that God has allowed me to be more mindful and thankful for the amazing gifts and blessings that He's placed into my life.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM), as well as the November Headache Carnival.

Being Mindful: Living in the Present

Mindfulness is "a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience" (Psychology Today).

Living in the present moment has never been something that comes easy to me... I have a difficult time taking time to be still, calm, and in the present moment - to "rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being" (Kabat-Zinn). I've always been a planner. I was always looking ahead to the future. But, with the chronic, debilitating pain has come complete uncertainty.

I'm learning how to truly "enjoy the moment... Living in the present moment is a wonderful... though sometimes a difficult and painful... lesson to learn" (Lessons: Learning From Life With Chronic Pain). But, it's a gift / lesson that I'm learning along the journey of life with chronic pain.

A dear friend of mine messaged me, in the midst of me having a panic attack (I'm proud of myself for reaching out for help to get through it), something that really helped me stay centered:

"Remember that you are safe. Look around you. See where you are. Hug Honey Bee. Listen to the noises of the house you are safe... Darling remember pain takes away our perspective. And you are really suffering right now and having memories [I was fighting off PTSD flashbacks]. Try to stay in the moment just for right now" (Kelly at Fly With Hope).

What beautiful words of truth. Pain really does take away our perspective. And, if we're an already anxious-natured person, the pain + anxiety = a very distorted perspective. With so many possibilities, scenarios, etc constantly racing through one's mind, it can nearly drive a person mad. Untypically Jia wrote a great post along these lines (Being Mindful of the Present). Here's a snapshot from the post:

I've often described OCD as a computer in your head that is constantly running future scenarios in order to find the best/safest/easiest route to follow. It's a GPS that is aware of every stoplight, car crash, traffic jam, road construction, detour and flock of baby ducks crossing the road. It's exhausting. 

Anyone with Fibromyalgia [or other chronic illness] will tell you that planning ahead is difficult because you never know when you'll run into a flare up of symptoms that can be anywhere from mildly annoying, to completely debilitating.

[... Finding that] my inner OCD computer jammed and the future disappeared in front of me. Without the future ahead of me to plan in great detail, I turned and looked back on the past.

[...] With a past full of unanswered questions and a future with limited visibility, I found myself stuck in the present. It felt like quicksand and the more I struggled to accept it, the faster I was sinking.

So I stopped struggling.

And immediately I stopped sinking.

This is such an amazing description of OCD, or even just anxiety. It very accurately describes what happens in my mind (I'm getting a little better at silencing the "what-ifs" and stuff, but it's a process). I'd never thought of what exactly my mind has been doing; but it's a good explanation that it's constantly running possible scenarios, and being hyper-vigilant. And, it IS exhausting!

"I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened" - Mark Twain

I can also relate with my computer jamming and my future disappearing in a moment. I have felt stuck in the present and struggling (and sinking) to try to accept it. It's a cycle, for me, I stop struggling and accept things for a while... then I start struggling and sinking again... and back around. But, it's when I stop struggling that I can truly be present in the moment - "letting go of what you want is the only way to get it" (The Art of Now: Six Steps Living in the Moment).

I have MUCH to learn about mindfulness, so it's a topic that I'm sure I'll bring up again in the future.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

Letter to My Mind & Body, Revisited

Today's post is to write a letter to my health. I've written a letter to my mind and body in a previous post, so I'm taking the "easy way out" and linking back to it (here).

I still have all the same questions, except I've now dealt with the chronic migraines for 4 years - so, I've healed from the neurostimulator, but still don't understand why it's not working / helping with my migraines.

I've really tried my best to keep my promise to continue trying to improve and to be more appreciative of how much my mind and body constantly endure. I'd like to renew that promise here and now.

Please take a couple minutes to read the letter to my mind and body.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.

It Was A Great Day (10/13/12)

So, I've fallen a little behind with blogging each day, so I'm going to try to get caught up.

* OCTOBER 13, 2012 * was a GREAT day! Here's what I wrote in my journal that day:

Thanks to a 2-day course of corticosteriods, and hitting the pain hard yesterday with some heavy migraine meds... my week-long bad migraine seems to have ended. 

I slept well last night, and woke up feeling good. I got dressed and put on some make-up, and went out ON MY OWN for 3.5 hours - I drove myself! I spent about 2 hours at Hobby Lobby - I felt so creative and free. My creativity was going crazy, which was so great! Then, I went to Best buy for an hour. I found a camera that I really like, and I got 2 blu-rays for Jeremy (an anniversary surprise). I came back home, and Jeremy and I went to Cheddar's for an early anniversary dinner. It was great recounting my afternoon out alone with Jeremy. 

Today was the BEST day I've had in MONTHS (in at least the past 6 months)! Today was such a huge and wonderful BLESSING!!! 

Being able to have some "me time" was great! I had an afternoon of feeling independent, confident, carefree, creative, relaxed. I can't even remember the last time I felt many of those! I wasn't on anyone's timetable (ex: I don't like spending a lot of time at craft stores with Jeremy because I know he'll be bored / miserable). I also wasn't doing something that I felt obligated to do. I just did whatever I felt up to doing, with no guilt or stress. 

* Lord, thank You for blessing me with an amazing day - enjoying myself (alone and with Jeremy) with low pain levels. Prayers of thanksgiving to You, my King. Amen * 

Having a day of low pain levels and higher energy is so wonderful. However, the temptation to go into a frenzy of productivity (ex: clean up, start / finish projects, run errands... try to catch up) is sooo STRONG! It's extremely difficult to stop and rest before pushing too hard.But, it's necessary. I found myself actually feel some fear / anxiety tonight because I don't want this good day to end. But, I'm heading to bed to get rest - maybe I'll be blessed with some more good days.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM). Other bloggers will share their posts on this FB page.