Superpower

Many kids think about how awesome it would be to have a superpower (what it would be / what they'd do with it). As a Migraineur, I often feel like I actually do have superpowers. I have super-senses - I can hear, smell, feel, taste, and see so much more than many others can. However, my hyper-sensitivity doesn't always seem like it's a superpower... it more often feels like a curse. But, on with the challenge for the day...

If I could choose any superpower, I'm not sure exactly which one I could choose... there are three that I think would be really great - to have one or all of.

• Teleporting - I think it would be amazing to be able to teleport! My husband and I had a long-distance relationship for 6.5 years during college, and we always talked about needing that ability. How liberating it would be for me to not have to worry about driving somewhere, being stranded somewhere because a migraine hit and I couldn't drive back, etc... I wouldn't have to take into consideration the time of day, the weather (the sun is really bad for me), the travel time, and so forth. I could be there more often for my family and friends because it'd be easy to teleport back to my own bed, in just a moment, when/if unbearable pain rears it's ugly head.
• Increased Energy - It would be great to not have to take so many rest breaks, cut tasks into a lot of mini-tasks, prepare so much for something as "simple" as a trip to the grocery store, etc... Think Energizer bunny - slow and steady, but can keep going and going and going. I wouldn't want an annoying amount of energy, but it would be great to have the energy to be able to do more.
• Comforting - While being able to comfort others may not be a superhuman power, it's also not something that everyone can or does. I've always tried to keep in mind that we should "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" (Plato). Kindness and comfort aren't the same, but they are often closely linked.

• Comfort: to soothe, console, or reassure; bring cheer to; to aid, support, or encourage; console (to make grief or distress seem lighter, by means of kindness and thoughtful attentions); relieve (to lighten, lessen, or remove pain, trouble, discomfort, or hardship); soothe (to pacify or calm)

I've always tried to be a comforting presence for others. I think that the ability to comfort others is a huge gift and blessing. To be able to help lighten another person's load, to help another through a hardship, to help bring a sense of calm to someone's life... what could be better?!

Of course, every superhero has their "kryptonite," and the superpowers I listed are no different.

• Teleporting - Being able to teleport could easily reduce the already very limited physical activity that I do now... in other words, it could make me weaker and lazy.
• Increased Energy - Having increased energy can have pretty obvious results... burnout. I already try to do too much, so I know that I'd just raise the baseline of what I have the energy to do... and then I'd try to push beyond that limit - it could easily get out of hand.
• Comforting - Being a comforter is great, but you have to be able to take care of yourself, too. I feel like I'd spread myself too thin by taking care of everyone but myself (or at least take care of others much more than myself) - I say this because I've done it before.

Ultimately, though, I'm not sure that I'd really want to have a superpower. I don't know that I could deal with all of the added responsibility that I feel comes along with having a superpower. So, instead, I will choose to do my best to use the gifts that God has placed in me. I know that He places obstacles, trials, and adversity in my life, so that He can form / mold me into the person that He made me to be. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do, but I trust that God is in control.

This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Our Deepest Fear

I love quotes because I believe that there is a lot of power in words, both written and spoken. I wrote about several inspiring quotes in yesterday's post, so I thought that today I'd write about an inspirational poem.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

This poem has been a huge inspiration to me for years. "Our Deepest Fear" holds a deeply resonating message about our fear of greatness.

I know that I have experienced that paralyzing fear of stepping forward or standing out from the pack. As many of us do, I always considered this to be a fear of failure. But, Marianne Williamson's poem flips that upside-down and calls us to consider that instead of a fear of failure, it's a fear of greatness... a fear of being better than our peers, and perhaps even a fear of daring to be the best.

Let's take a closer look at the poem, Our Deepest Fear:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. - I think it's pretty common to believe that it's a fear of failure, or a fear of being inadequate, that stifles us. But, consider that it's actually our ability to do a lot, to be great, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are we not to be? You are a child of God. - I love this! It can be difficult to remember that we are a child of God, and that He has given each of us gifts.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. - We have allowed the world to set the standard on our greatness. We sometimes sabotage ourselves because we're afraid to reveal our true light because we're not sure how others will respond to it. But, we are each called to step up, claim our birthrights, and start believing that we are who God says we are... who God made us to be. Playing small doesn't help anyone... it denies the greatness that God has placed in you, and it doesn't serve the world around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. - We are children of God, and we are each called to glorify God by allowing the gifts He has placed in us to shine through to the world. The world needs more light, more Christ, more love. Don't be afraid to display the light God has placed in you.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Every one of us is called to let our light shine. Being the best self you can be will benefit both you and others. Once you accept that God has made you great, you allow yourself to shine... this encourages other to recognize their own greatness, and begin to free themselves from the chains of fear.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Encouragement for This Month's Challenge

I know I haven't really been keeping up with my blog very well, but I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things by participating in WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC). I've been out of the writing/blogging world for a little while, so I hope I'm able to keep up. I'm not sure whether I'll follow the provided daily blog prompt or just write whatever comes to me, but I'm going to try to get a post in each day in April.

That being said, I'm veering from the provided prompts, starting on the very first day!

I was flipping through my journal of quotations that I've found over time and written down for inspiration. I was looking for some encouraging words to help me with the Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge. Here are some of the quotations that I found...


"What we do is but a drop in the ocean. Yet if we did not do it, the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." - Mother Teresa - This is such a powerful message! I think that most of us want to make a difference in this world, but this world is so vast that few of us will make the history books. What we must remember, though, is that God has given each of us special gifts to put to use in our lives. What we do matters, regardless of how small it may seem.


"We won't always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What's important is that you do care and do act." - Charlotte Lunsford - What a great reminder that the little things we do can touch other people's lives in huge ways. I know that I don't always express my care to others, but I try to whenever I can. Just letting someone know that you're there can mean the world to him/her.


"I expect to pass through this world by once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to another fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Stephen Grellet - We are only given one chance in this world... that's actually quite a relief to me... I try to look for ways that I can show kindness to others, even if it's a simple act. We don't get a second chance at this life, so we must make due with the hand we've been dealt. Everyone faces their own obstacles and battles in this world, but we can help each other along this journey by showing care, kindness, and understanding.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Sex: Trigger or Treatment

Yesterday, I wrote about Primary Headaches & Sex. Without revealing too much of my personal life / relationship with my husband, I'd like to talk a bit more about the topic.

Each relationship is different, just as each person's experience of pain is different. So, you have to work together and find what works for both you and your partner.

SEX:  TRIGGER OR TREATMENT

In women with primary headache conditions, sexual intercourse has been known to

Both to ease migraine pain and to trigger a headache, but its effect depends on the person and the circumstances... There are two schools of thought on this topic: One holds that sex, especially an orgasm, releases certain chemicals in the brain that work to alleviate a migraine; the other holds that sex can actually cause a headache by increasing blood pressure and causing a dilation of the cerebral blood vessels. You'll have to do your own experimenting to find out whether sex has any effect on your migraines (Sex: A Cure for Migraine or a Potential Trigger?).

This is interesting to me, but it's just like anything else... it could trigger a migraine in some, or alleviate a migraine to another... or even differ with the same person, since triggers are cumulative.

People love to give advice on how their second-cousin's-mother's-friend did such-and-such to get rid of his/her migraines... one of these treatments (or "cures") is having sex - I've had several people make this claim. I'm guessing that these people have never experienced a migraine before. I start getting symptoms long before I feel the head pain, so trying to have sex in an attempt to prevent or alleviate a migraine can be difficult. Not to mention, migraine symptoms don't make you feel very sexy, and your body may be too sensitive to even hug your significant other... much less do anything more.

Perhaps trying to have sex earlier in the migraine cycle might help - but you don't always know when one is coming (especially if you have chronic migraines), and it may be like other treatments for migraine pain that give some temporary relief and then the pain worsens again quickly... did it really help? But, I have to say that I wish that having sex could prevent and/or alleviate migraines!

I'm not a doctor or therapist, but there are some things that stand out to me as important for relationships (these apply to those with and without chronic pain).


CHALLENGES

Living with chronic pain has many challenges. One of the most pervasive is not knowing - for example, not knowing when each flare of pain will come or go. Without knowing when the pain will come and go (or increase and decrease), it can be difficult to commit to a date night or other planned relationship time.

People living with chronic pain may experience a significant decrease in stamina, ultra-sensitivity (where one's body hurts with even the slightest touch), etc. These are challenges that the person in pain and his/her partner need to try to work around... finding a balance that meets the needs of each individual, as well as your relationship with one another.

To complicate things a bit more, migraines may be linked to depression. Depression and/or anti-depressants can lower one's sex drive. There are a lot of medications used to treat people with chronic pain that can decrease one's sex drive.


COMMUNICATION

The most important thing to remember is that it's vitally important to keep the lines of communication open. Be honest with one another about what you want and need, and what you're able to contribute - if you, your significant other, or both of you suffers from chronic pain, it's even more important. Without being obsessive about it, have an open and ongoing dialog about your relationship, including your sex life.


COMPROMISE

It's important to find ways for each of you to express your love to the other. Work with your partner to find a compromise between what you and he/she wants, needs, and are able to do. Example:  if one partner wants to have sex daily, but the other partner is only able to participate once a week... a compromise may be to have intercourse once a week, and participate in other intimate activities together throughout the week.


CREATIVE

It's important to be creative in finding ways to express your love to one another, especially when faced with the challenges of chronic pain. Showing each other how important they are to you can be done in many ways other than intercourse. Here are just some ideas (other than sex) to be intimate with your significant other:

• Hold hands
• Kiss
• Hug (we make sure that we hug at least once a day)
• Sit together without any technology (no phones, TV, computer) and just talk/listen to one another (give your significant other your undivided attention, even if only for a few minutes)
• Massage
• Laugh together
• Play games with each other
• Take a bath or shower together
• Snuggle together on the couch
• Cook together
• Go shopping together (we enjoy going grocery shopping together because we also enjoy cooking together)
• Watch TV or a movie together
• Compliment each other
• Write love notes
• Listen to each other share about your day
• Forgive each other quickly
• Whisper to each other
• Go to a play/musical together
• Go for a walk together
• Go out to eat together
• Dance with each other
• And the list goes on...

http://weheartit.com/entry/6579075

Primary Headaches & Sex

A recent study suggests that women treated for primary headaches display a higher rate of sexual symptoms and distress. The study found that 90% of women with migraines and tension-type headaches also have sexual problems, and 29% of these women are stressed about their sex lives.

The researchers observed 194 women consecutively over a 3-month period. They recruited 100 of these women. Different primary headaches were diagnosed, according to the International Classification of Headache Disorders - migraine with and without aura, and both episodic and chronic tension-type headache (CTTH). After collecting detailed pharmacological history, anxiety and depression were assessed using validating scales. Then, the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI) and Female Sexual Distress Scale-Revised were administered.

The study authors found that

More than 90% of the women had a median FSFI full-scale score under the validated cutoff, while 29% reported sexual distress. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) was diagnosed in 20% of the women and the pain domain score (median 2, score range 0–6) was highly affected by the head pain condition. However, the FSFI domain and full-scale scores did not significantly differ by headache diagnosis. The women with CTTH displayed a high rate of sexual distress (45.5%) and a strong negative correlation between desire, arousal, and full-scale FSFI score and number analgesics/month (r: −0.77, P = 0.006; r: −0.76, P = 0.006; and r: −0.68, P = 0.02, respectively). Depression was positively correlated with sexual distress (r: 0.63, P = 0.001) only in the women with CTTH (Sexual Function and Distress in Women Treated for Primary Headaches in a Tertiary University Center, abstract).

The study researchers concluded that "women treated for primary headaches were found to display a high rate of sexual symptoms and distress. Both migraine and tension-type headache were associated with sexual pain and HSDD [i.e., low sex drive], but women with CTTH seem to be more prone to develop sexual distress (Sexual Function and Distress in Women Treated for Primary Headaches in a Tertiary University Center, abstract).

It should be noted that many women with headaches have depression (see Migraines Linked to Depression Risk in Women) and/or anxiety as well, which can also affect one's sexual satisfaction. Various medications can also affect sexual desire.

While it is far too early to make many assumptions based on this research, it does provide an observational pilot study assessing sexual function and distress in women treated for primary headaches in a tertiary university center. Further research is needed on sexuality and female headache sufferers.

This study was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Migraines Linked to Depression Risk in Women

A recent study suggests that women with a history of migraines have about a 40% increased risk for depression. The researchers at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston analyzed data from more than 36,000 women (aged 45 or older, who did not have depression and had answered questions about their migraine history) in the U.S. Women's Health Study. Dr. Tobias Kurth (senior study author) and his colleagues found that

more than 6,400 of the women had current or past migraines, and that during an average 14 years of follow-up, nearly 4,000 developed depression (Migraines May Raise a Woman's Odds of Depression).

The authors also found that

Women with any history of migraines were 36 percent more likely to develop depression than women with no history of the headaches, and there was no difference between migraines with aura and migraines without aura. The researchers also found that women with only a past history of migraine had 1.41 times the risk of developing depression (Migraines May Raise a Woman's Odds of Depression).

Depression is mental health condition that is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair; persistent fatigue / lack of energy; persistent feelings of worthlessness or guilt; impaired concentration and/or indecisiveness; persistent insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping); loss of interest in once pleasurable activities; recurring thoughts of death or suicide; significant weight loss or gain. Of course everyone feels down from time to time, but depression lasts for weeks (or more) and reduces your ability to function normally.

While it is premature to make many assumptions based on this research, the study confirms a long-suspected link between migraines and depression (i.e., comorbid disorders). Future studies should explore the link between migraines and depression for younger females (as this study only included age 45 and older) and males (of all ages). It should also be noted that the number of women with depression may be greater than the study showed, since the diagnosis was based on self-reporting.

This study is scheduled for presentation at the American Academy of Neurology annual meeting in New Orleans in April. Funding was provided by the U.S. National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and the National Cancer Institute. (Note: Research presented at medical meetings should be considered preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed medical journal)