HAWMC Recap

I participated in WEGO Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC) in April. I completed thirty posts in thirty days. I'd like to write a bit about my experience writing thirty posts in a row based on prompts that someone else dictated.

First of all, completing this challenge was a HUGE accomplishment for me. Since my accident, the pain has been so unpredictable and debilitating that I often struggle to make or keep any sort of plans.

But, in February/March, I committed to attending a once a week church class for four-weeks. I had horrible migraines for at least two of the meetings, but I took meds and pained myself through them. You see, I haven't felt a sense of accomplishment in quite some time, so that was a BIG deal for me.

Then, this HAWMC came up in April. I decided to commit to doing it, even though I knew it would be difficult. I was blessed to have a week of pretty good days (i.e., 4-5 on a 10-point scale) the very end of March/beginning of April. I tried to balance getting a lot done and not over-doing it that week, and I think I did a pretty good job. I got a start on some of the HAWMC prompts; which really helped out, when I had my migraine days that usually come in about 3-5 day blocks of time. I paced myself toward the end of the month, when I knew I was going to be out of town and super-busy.

I found some of the posts incredibly interesting and enjoyable, while others were much more of a struggle to get through. I really liked learning different ways writing, and having a chance to practice with them. Some were styles that I've never even heard of, much less try to write in... some I will use again, and some I won't... but it was a great experience to at least be exposed to them.

I had a lot of difficulty with the more silly, creative posts. I know that my creative thinking skills have suffered greatly, since my accident; but this made it even more clear. I've had cognitive processing difficulties with the head injury, migraines, meds, etc... So, when my brain works, it's normally not creative in nature.

I also really enjoyed the WEGO Health Blog, where I had the opportunity to read other people's posts based on the same prompts. I was exposed to new blogs with some great people. It was a great experience, but I'm glad it's over... for now (I need a break from daily posts based on dictated prompts).

Mall Madhouse

The MALL is a horrible place for a Migraineur.

Photo by Trainer Momma1

I knew this, but it was reaffirmed a couple days ago. Unfortunately, I already had at least the start of a migraine when we went, but we had to get our new glasses ordered (before our vision insurance ended). My husband went with me, so that helped.

• The LIGHTS were so bright - fluorescent lights and the sun coming through the window ceilings.
• The SOUNDS were unbearable - crowds of people, there were random singers there with microphones in the middle of the mall, and the music was blasting in the bustling food court.
• The SMELLS were constantly strong and changing - people with different perfumes/colognes walking by, bath and body stores, the food court (which has the largest variety of foods I've ever seen in one place), and perfume/cologne stores everywhere.
• The CROWDS were ridiculous.- there were so many people there, and I just can't really deal well with crowds of people, especially when I have or am getting a migraine. People were also driving like maniacs (well, that's a normal occurrence)... we drove less than 2 miles, and we saw so many stupid things happen on the road that I still can't quite believe it.

I was dealing with mounting STRESS on top of the other stuff because the insurance company's system was messing up and was showing that we'd already used our benefits and weren't eligible for coverage. Of course, this is on a Saturday because my head has been pounding the past few days, when we were planning on going to take care of it. The Lord answered my prayer to help ease the anxiety and for the situation to work itself out. When we went back to see if the system had improved after we ate lunch at the mall, the lady that helped us was able to get a manual authorization to push it through the system. I'm so grateful that things worked out!

HAWMC Prompt 30: Gobbeldygook Day

I'm participating in WEGO Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC) in April.

Today's challenge is to make up a new word (it can be a combination of two words or complete nonsense). What is the word? How do you pronounce it? What does it mean? Use it in a sentence.

A portmanteau or portmanteau word is "a blend of two (or more) words or morphemes into one new word... [It] typically combines both sounds and meanings."

CHRAIN [krn, kreyn]
    -noun
1. portmanteau of "chronic" and "pain"
2. hurt, discomfort, or distress that is constant and has an indefinite duration
3. a state of physical, emotional, or mental lack of well-being that is marked by long duration, by frequent recurrence over a long time, and often by slowly progressing seriousness

Sentences:  I've had chrain for years. Chrain has interfered with all aspects of my life.
 

HAWMC Prompt 29: Health Cliche

I'm participating in WEGO Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC) in April.

Photo by Noodle93

Today's challenge is to think about a health cliché that really bugs me, and then reclaim it by turning it around and make it something that I can be comfortable hearing. A cliché is "an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, rendering it a stereotype, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel."

There are a lot of clichés flying around, especially when someone has a medical condition. Over the past few years, I've heard my fair share of them... "It could('ve) be(en) so much worse." ... "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." ... "This too shall pass." While people using these clichés have good intentions, they can be very hurtful.

"It could('ve) be(en) so much worse." - I know that it could've been worse. I know that it could be worse now. This rarely provides any sort of relief, but I try my best to thank God that things weren't/aren't worse.

"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." - I know that the Lord is using this difficult time to make me stronger. It doesn't make things much easier;but knowing that He's using these trials to mold me into the woman He wants me to be gives me motivation to keep going, even in the darkest and hardest of times.

"This too shall pass." - There is no cure for Migraine disease. So, I just continue to seek the best treatment I can, and try to improve the quality of life I have with Migraine, because the chronic pain may be something I have to deal with the rest of my life. I have faith that the Lord will help me through the trials along my journey... knowing that Him seeing me through doesn't necessarily mean that He's going to take away the pain.

HAWMC Prompt 28: I Used To Be...

I'm participating in WEGO Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC) in April.

Today's challenge is to write a short story or poem, where every sentence starts with the phrase "I used to be" and ends with "but I'm not anymore."

I used to be active, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be (more) confident, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be quick-witted, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be scholarly, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be independent, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be isolated, but I'm not anymore.
I used to be terrified, but I'm not anymore.

HAWMC Prompt 27: Quote Prompt

I'm participating in WEGO Health's Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC) in April.

by Vicki Swords

Today's challenge is to find a quote that inspires me either positively or negatively, and then write about it. I've always loved quotes! So, choosing a quote for today's post was both easy and hard. I was just going to include the last paragraph quoted below by Charles Colson, but the beginning gives some background to his life. The italics have been added by me, and will be referred to below.

"...The real legacy of my life was my biggest failure – that I was an ex-convict. My greatest humiliation – being sent to prison – was the beginning of God’s greatest use of my life; He chose the one experience in which I could not glory, for His glory.

Confronted with this staggering truth, I discovered in those few moments in the prison chapel that my world was turned upside down. I understood with a jolt that I had been looking at life backward.

But now I could see: only when I lost everything that I thought made me a great guy had I found the true self God intended me to be and the true purpose of my life.

It is not what we do that matters, but what a sovereign God chooses to do through us. God doesn’t want our success; he wants us. He doesn’t demand our achievements; he demands our obedience. The Kingdom of God is a kingdom of paradox, where through the ugly defeat of a cross a holy God is utterly glorified. Victory comes through defeat; healing through brokenness; finding self through losing self."

~ Charles ("Chuck") W. Colson (Loving God)

There are so many things packed into this long quote. It's so moving and powerful to me; and it's taken on so much more meaning, since I've been trying to find purpose and acceptance among the pain that I've experienced since my car accident.

"He chose the one experience in which I could not glory, for His glory." - There is nothing glorious in chronic, unrelenting pain. However, God is using this time in my life, so that He will be glorified. It is only through Him that I've endured so much. And, though my faith has been shaken at times during these trials, I know that God is my strength and He deserves all the glory.

"...only when I lost everything that I thought made me a great guy had I found the true self God intended me to be and the true purpose of my life." - Over the past 10 years, I've actually had a series of losses of things that I identified myself by. I felt completely lost, when I was injured in high school and no longer able to play softball or run. When I was in the car accident 2.5 years ago, everything else seemed to fall apart (sometimes over time and sometimes all at once). Suddenly, I couldn't read and write because of pain and memory issues. I was trying to deal with my mind processing slowly, which wasn't something I really dealt with much before. I've always identified myself with my mind, and I could no longer do the type of stuff that I loved so much. I tried returning to school (starting graduate school), but struggled so much. BUT, I know that God is working in these trials to prepare me for His calling on my life. I'm journeying to find my true self and life purpose, who God intends me to be and what He calls me to do.

"It is not what we do that matters, but what a sovereign God chooses to do through us." - I've always wanted to make a difference in people's lives. It's been my fervent prayer that God use me as a vessel and work through me to reach others. I've been humbled on many occasions, when I'm afforded the opportunity to see how God has worked through me in certain situations or ways. It's such a blessing!

"God doesn’t want our success; he wants us." - This has been more difficult for me to swallow. I've always been a perfectionist and very results-oriented. Not to mention, our society places so much emphasis on being "perfect" and "successful." I've always known that God loves me unconditionally, but I've always wanted to... perhaps "make Him proud." It's a difficult thing to truly grasp that our God wants our successes and our failures, our strengths and our weaknesses... because He doesn't categorize the same ways that we tend to (our failures may be ways to steer us towards His calling, so that we might experience great successes). God wants each of us, and every part of us.

"He doesn’t demand our achievements; he demands our obedience." - This one is somewhat an extension of the previous section of the quote (see above). But, it speaks to God's demand for our obedience. I've been learning this one, especially over the past few years. The car accident injured me in such a way that I'm unable to achieve what I was before. But, God doesn't demand my achievements, He demands my obedience. I've struggled a lot with the obedience and discipline aspects of my faith.

"The Kingdom of God is a kingdom of paradox, where through the ugly defeat of a cross a holy God is utterly glorified." - How true it is that "the Kingdom of God is a kingdom of paradox" (an interesting read is a sermon by Timothy Peck, The Paradox of God's Kingdom). Jesus suffered and died on a cross, in order for God to ultimately be glorified.

"Victory comes through defeat; healing through brokenness; finding self through losing self." - These are more paradoxes. I think that God often uses trials to bring us closer to Him. When we are at our weakest, He is our strength. When we our broken, He is the only one that can truly heal us. And, when we feel defeated, He is working behind the scenes preparing us for victory.