Friday, September 10, 2010

Pursuing a Degree with Migraine Agony


September 2010 Headache Blog Carnival:  "Students and headache disorders - How have migraines & headaches affected your schooling? How has a headache disorder affected your school age child? How did you cope with balancing school and headaches or migraines?" - There are some great posts for students with headache disorders (of all ages). Take a look at the above link.

During my late teen years, I had some problems with headaches; but none really interfered with my life. If I had headache/migraine problems in college (undergraduate), they didn't prevent me from going to classes, completing assignments, etc.

I felt that my health had improved enough to begin graduate school in the Fall 2009 (about 10.5 months after the car accident that spun me into a whirlwind of pain).

I didn't seek out assistance because I didn't want to be viewed differently. I tried to keep my chronic migraine disease to myself. I tried to pace myself, especially with long-term assignments, so it wouldn't be a dire situation if I had a migraine attack at the last minute. This was a huge step for me. I was the one in school that planned ahead, but typically procrastinated (you know, writing papers the night before they were due). Keeping up with the reading was difficult - sometimes I could concentrate/focus and read, and sometimes I couldn't... my memory worked only part of the time, and it was impossible to predict.

When I continued to fall behind in my classes, I finally decided that I needed to reach out for help. I talked with my professors and with a couple of my peers. It got to a point where I needed more assistance than I wanted to accept.

I set up a meeting with the director for the Center for Student Academic Support. But, it was too late in the semester to really help. I remember filling out the form to get academic support/assistance... it tore me apart. How could all of this be happening?! I went to a great liberal arts university and did well during my undergraduate years (i.e., before the accident), taking 15-17 credits per semester and working 20-25 hours per week. And, now, here I am... unable to keep up with school work (even with accommodations), unable to fulfill the 20 hours of work required for my graduate assistantship... unable to live my life in any sense of the word "normal." It ached me to be filling out paperwork asking me about whether I had ever been tested for learning disabilities, been in special education or remedial classes, and then rating my skills (reading  rate and comprehension, test-taking skills, etc...). What a horrible blow to my self-confidence (which was already pretty low). We discussed accommodations - extended time in a secluded room for taking exams - which helped a little.

Unfortunately, my migraines worsened as the semester(s) progressed. I struggled through my first semester, which resulted in me being placed on academic probation. I was able to improve my grades during the spring semester, which resulted in me being taken off of academic probation. It definitely took a toll on my health, though. But, I was missing out on so much of the graduate school experience - doing research, spending time with other students, etc...

I took the summer off from school, and I am taking a leave of absence for at least this semester. I'm still trying to figure out how to successfully continue pursuing my master's degree, while I continually suffer with chronic migraine pain.

My Advice:
- Seek help early on (professors, school disability office, peers)
- Communication is key (be direct, consistent, forward)
- Be realistic of your limitations (and stay within them) - only you can know what your limitations are and what you need

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Changed Relationships

Changed Relationships

One moment in time has drastically changed
every aspect of my life.

Dealing with these changes
has been much more difficult
to deal with than I ever imagined.

I have changed.
My relationships have changed.
And it is hard.

My relationship with God has been rocky.
I have felt angry, disappointed, and abandoned.
I'm in the process of mending this most important relationship.

My relationship with my family has been one of love and support.
But, my family and I are still trying to
grieve the old me and accept the new me.

My relationships with friends have all but disappeared.
Perhaps they don't know what to say or do,
perhaps they can't accept the changed me.

I already feel so alone,
facing the monsters of chronic pain,
while trying to accept my limitations.

But, feeling separated from those I was once close with
is a burden I never could have anticipated.
It's a loss I didn't expect, when the pain began.

Finding the support of the blogging community
has come at just the right time.
I thank all those that I've come into contact with -
your support and understanding is much appreciated.

© 2010 Jamie Valendy.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

September: Pain Awareness Month

September is Pain Awareness Month, "Uniting Our Voices, Conquering Pain Together." The American Pain Foundation works hard all year long to improve policies that impact pain patients and improve awareness about the obstacles pain patients encounter. There are many easy, fast ways for you to get involved and help increase public awareness. Visit  American Pain Foundation.

5 Things You Can Do to Make a Difference this September
  1. Sign up to participate in the Virtual March. Organizations and groups are invited to endorse the march!
  2. Contribute your voice by submitting your story to the 10,000 Voices Campaign.
  3. Spread the word! If you’re on Facebook or use another social networking platform, use your status to update people on Pain Awareness Month and the Virtual March. Encourage them to do the same!
  4. Think of five organizations or community partners in your area. Tell them about Pain Awareness Month and ask them to visit this website to endorse the march and share it with their members.
  5. Support our efforts by donating to the cause. Donate Now.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dusting Off My Bible: 1 & 2 Peter

Well, my Bible has been gathering dust for much of the past year or two. Since the accident, I've stuck with a few key Scripture verses, and read a few books of the Bible (Job, Habakkuk, and perhaps bits and pieces of others). My faith has been on a roller coaster through the trials and suffering that my car accident has lead to.

A dear friend of mine recommended that I read 1 and 2 Peter. I had my Bible open to 1 Peter for several weeks. A few nights ago, I felt compelled to sit down and read. I read 1 and 2 Peter, and they really touched me.

In 1 Peter, we are told that our faith in God will lead to a glorious inheritance and salvation. But, Peter continues...
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1:6-7)
God allows his followers' faith to be tested, so that we might discover our own weaknesses and His infinite strength. It is to increase/deepen our faith in Him.

Further in 1 Peter, we are told that "since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin" (4:1). Based on my study Bible and my own meditation on this passage, I think it is saying that physical suffering can equip us with a new outlook on life. Priorities may shift:  things that were once insignificant take on new meaning, while other things lose their value. Sinful desires become less alluring because we have learned (through suffering) to depend on Christ to help us through.

God gives us trials in a way to break us... but let me explain. Trials and suffering can bring us to the end of our own resources, and hopefully back to God. There is a shifting point during times of trial and suffering. When we reach that point, realize, and accept that ONLY with God can we get through this, things take on new meaning (even the suffering looks different). God wants us to place our complete trust and faith in Him. When we no longer have the strength and the resources to pick ourselves back up, we turn to God to lift us up.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still struggle with completely trusting in God to give me the strength to keep going with all of this pain. But, in my heart, I know that God will never leave me and that this experience is to bring me closer to Him. I don't understand why this happened to me, why I must be in so much pain every single day, why my life has been completely flipped upside-down, etc... (and I go through stages of denial and anger about it) but I long to honor my Lord. At my core, my deepest desire is to serve, honor, and glorify Him who gives me the strength and courage to go on. I don't know how, in the midst of all of this, I am supposed to praise, honor, and serve Him; but I can't give up. He has never given up on me, and I will not give up on trying to be His faithful servant.

Kerrie Roberts - No Matter What


© 2010 Jamie Valendy.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

One Lovely Blog Award

Thank You WinnyNinny PooPoo at No Extended Warranty

This was such a surprise for being nominated for this the One Lovely Blog Award. Thank you so much for the encouragement and the award.

Here are the rules:

- Accept the award and post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

- Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. (if possible)

- Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Please visit the blogs that I've chosen to pass the award on to. They are all great!

1) Abi's Migrainous Wanderings by Abigail Addison
2) Adventures in Occipital Nerve Stimulation by Banner
3) A Rewoven Life by Susan
4) Chronic Warrior by admin
5) Final Trick by dyspatient
6) Free My Brain From Migraine Pain by admin
7) God Whispers by God Whispers
8) How to Cope with Pain by How to Cope with Pain
9) jasmine's cove by jasminepw
10) Migraine 365 by Jen
11) MigrainePuppet by Migraine Puppet
12) Migrainista by Migrainista
13) Mom Migraine by Mindy
14) Painfully Speaking by Jessica
15) Through the Words of Chronic Pain by A FIGHTER

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Hangover

I've been away with a bad migraine attack. Yesterday, as I was all medicated up with migraine meds, I watched the movie, The Hangover. Today, I'm living the migraine attack hangover. The headache pain has come and gone all day. I'm irritable, unbalanced, indecisive, and feel like I'm living in a fog. I'm hoping that this is just the postdrome, rather than the start of yet another migraine attack.
Disclaimer: Nothing on this blog is intended as medical or legal advice.

What I write on this site is my own, and if it is someone else's, I take special care to attribute it to the original author. So, please don't use any of my material without proper attribution or permission. Thanks.