Health Haiku & Tanka

Haiku is a “miniature Japanese poem consisting of 17 syllables – 5 syllables in first line, 7 in second, and 5 in the last. No rhyme or meter scheme is employed when writing haiku. The aim of the haiku is to create something greater than the sum of the parts.” I wrote a haiku during last year's challenge - HAWMC Prompt 5: Haiku & Tanka. It was a bit more difficult to write this year, but here's what I wrote:

Living life with pain
and growing uncertainty
means my life has changed.

     * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Migraine agony,
Why do you do this to me?
Please leave me alone.

And, I'm feeling a little ambitious today, so I'm going to include a tanka (which I also did in last year's challenge - HAWMC Prompt 5: Haiku & Tanka). Tanka is a type of Japanese poetry that "consists of five units usually with the following pattern or onji: 5-7-5-7-7."

Horrible migraine
Why do you always show up
To ruin my day?
You interrupt my whole life
And leave me wondering why.

This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Ekphrasis Post - Darkness & Light

I've written a couple Ekphrasis posts before (HAWMC Prompt 12: Ekphrasis and Ekphrasis Post). I love looking at different photos and images - they can evoke such a variety of emotions.

That being said, I've had a little trouble with this post... I found some images that really moved me, but they were "all rights reserved." I tried to find a different image (one that I'd be allowed to share/show directly here on my blog), but none of them were doing anything for me.

There are 2 different photos (by the same person, heather ~) that really moved me today. I really hope you'll take a moment to click on the links below to see the images.

Image 1
The first one can be seen here. There's a woman sitting with her head wrapped with her hands and resting on her bent knees. I think it offers a glimpse at the desperation that someone living with a chronic illness feels - the pain, anxiety, depression, isolation, disappointment, etc... There is so much emotional wear and tear that affects those that have chronic illness (and perhaps more-so for those living with invisible illness because others often don't know that you're ill at all). Unless you've experiences chronic pain, you really can't understand the amount of energy and work that it takes to make oneself look "normal" or make things look easy - there are numerous thoughts and choices that are required each moment of the day (including things like weighing whether or not the choice to participate in an activity is worth the increase in physical and emotional pain that will come from your participation).

The woman is sitting in the shadows, but there is light coming from outside. There is always hope, even in the midst of the darkness that chronic illness can bring.

Image 2
The second image is here. This photo shows a woman walking or jogging along the coastline - the waves are crashing on the beach and the wind is blowing. To me, this photo can be viewed several different ways. The way I choose to see it is that this woman is facing an obstacle or fear. She's not retreating from the crashing waves and high winds - she goes forward to face her fears. She appears to be confident in her ability to face what's ahead, and I think that's beautiful. As she moves on the coastline, she stays back from the vast ocean - she is somewhere between being on land and being in the ocean. There is a battle in each of us to decide whether we're going to face our fears or retreat from them.

Black & White
Both of these photos are black and white, which I think make them all the more intense / powerful. Living with chronic pain, depression, and so forth can leave you feeling like all of the color has been sucked out of your life... When you're faced with the limitations, stress, and choices that life with chronic illness brings, it can really make your life feel lifeless. But, the light in black and white photos always seems to be vibrant, offering hope to the subject in the dark shadows. There is always hope, even amidst the darkness.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

I Write About My Health Because...

There are many reasons why I write about my health, but much of it comes down to... because I can (I feel that it's a gift God has blessed me with). I've always loved journaling. There is so much power in the written word! For the longest time, though, I wouldn't allow others to read my journals... I still have a private journal, where I write things that are more personal (or sometimes too premature for a blog post).

After my car accident in October 2008, I didn't know how to deal with the chronic, debilitating pain; memory, processing, and concentration difficulties; and so forth. I had trouble journaling in any way for a long time - I injured my neck and right shoulder in the accident, so it was physically too painful to write or type much... and then there's the emotional and spiritual pain, of course.

I'm not really sure exactly how I found the online chronic pain / migraine community, but I'm certainly glad I did! The online community has allowed me to cross paths with so many different people, each with their own unique story. I've made some amazing friendships, and found a lot of support that I otherwise wouldn't have had. I feel less alone, knowing that others are fighting similar battles.

I started my own blog, in order to share what I was going through and work out what I was facing. Part of it is the need to simply say the words - to get them out and really face the fact that my life has changed, I am different than I was before the accident - but I still am me!

I find great release in being able to allow the words and feelings to just pass through my fingers onto the keyboard (just as I find release in putting pen to paper). Writing helps me release the powerful hold that chronic illness can have on one's life - the denial of having a chronic illness, having to recognize and respect new limitations, accepting and managing day-to-day reality with chronic pain, and facing the future in a different way.

I would be lying if I said that I wrote solely for myself. I share my story and my experiences in hope that others may find a degree of comfort in knowing that there's another person that is going through something similar. I hope that my words help others to feel less isolated, more validated in what they're going through, inspired and encouraged to keep going... as well as to help educate others about invisible illness and how it can wreak havoc on every aspect of a person's life.

I wrote about this topic during last years Health Activist Writer's Challenge - here.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Superpower

Many kids think about how awesome it would be to have a superpower (what it would be / what they'd do with it). As a Migraineur, I often feel like I actually do have superpowers. I have super-senses - I can hear, smell, feel, taste, and see so much more than many others can. However, my hyper-sensitivity doesn't always seem like it's a superpower... it more often feels like a curse. But, on with the challenge for the day...

If I could choose any superpower, I'm not sure exactly which one I could choose... there are three that I think would be really great - to have one or all of.

• Teleporting - I think it would be amazing to be able to teleport! My husband and I had a long-distance relationship for 6.5 years during college, and we always talked about needing that ability. How liberating it would be for me to not have to worry about driving somewhere, being stranded somewhere because a migraine hit and I couldn't drive back, etc... I wouldn't have to take into consideration the time of day, the weather (the sun is really bad for me), the travel time, and so forth. I could be there more often for my family and friends because it'd be easy to teleport back to my own bed, in just a moment, when/if unbearable pain rears it's ugly head.
• Increased Energy - It would be great to not have to take so many rest breaks, cut tasks into a lot of mini-tasks, prepare so much for something as "simple" as a trip to the grocery store, etc... Think Energizer bunny - slow and steady, but can keep going and going and going. I wouldn't want an annoying amount of energy, but it would be great to have the energy to be able to do more.
• Comforting - While being able to comfort others may not be a superhuman power, it's also not something that everyone can or does. I've always tried to keep in mind that we should "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" (Plato). Kindness and comfort aren't the same, but they are often closely linked.

• Comfort: to soothe, console, or reassure; bring cheer to; to aid, support, or encourage; console (to make grief or distress seem lighter, by means of kindness and thoughtful attentions); relieve (to lighten, lessen, or remove pain, trouble, discomfort, or hardship); soothe (to pacify or calm)

I've always tried to be a comforting presence for others. I think that the ability to comfort others is a huge gift and blessing. To be able to help lighten another person's load, to help another through a hardship, to help bring a sense of calm to someone's life... what could be better?!

Of course, every superhero has their "kryptonite," and the superpowers I listed are no different.

• Teleporting - Being able to teleport could easily reduce the already very limited physical activity that I do now... in other words, it could make me weaker and lazy.
• Increased Energy - Having increased energy can have pretty obvious results... burnout. I already try to do too much, so I know that I'd just raise the baseline of what I have the energy to do... and then I'd try to push beyond that limit - it could easily get out of hand.
• Comforting - Being a comforter is great, but you have to be able to take care of yourself, too. I feel like I'd spread myself too thin by taking care of everyone but myself (or at least take care of others much more than myself) - I say this because I've done it before.

Ultimately, though, I'm not sure that I'd really want to have a superpower. I don't know that I could deal with all of the added responsibility that I feel comes along with having a superpower. So, instead, I will choose to do my best to use the gifts that God has placed in me. I know that He places obstacles, trials, and adversity in my life, so that He can form / mold me into the person that He made me to be. I don't always understand why things happen the way they do, but I trust that God is in control.

This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Our Deepest Fear

I love quotes because I believe that there is a lot of power in words, both written and spoken. I wrote about several inspiring quotes in yesterday's post, so I thought that today I'd write about an inspirational poem.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

This poem has been a huge inspiration to me for years. "Our Deepest Fear" holds a deeply resonating message about our fear of greatness.

I know that I have experienced that paralyzing fear of stepping forward or standing out from the pack. As many of us do, I always considered this to be a fear of failure. But, Marianne Williamson's poem flips that upside-down and calls us to consider that instead of a fear of failure, it's a fear of greatness... a fear of being better than our peers, and perhaps even a fear of daring to be the best.

Let's take a closer look at the poem, Our Deepest Fear:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. - I think it's pretty common to believe that it's a fear of failure, or a fear of being inadequate, that stifles us. But, consider that it's actually our ability to do a lot, to be great, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are we not to be? You are a child of God. - I love this! It can be difficult to remember that we are a child of God, and that He has given each of us gifts.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. - We have allowed the world to set the standard on our greatness. We sometimes sabotage ourselves because we're afraid to reveal our true light because we're not sure how others will respond to it. But, we are each called to step up, claim our birthrights, and start believing that we are who God says we are... who God made us to be. Playing small doesn't help anyone... it denies the greatness that God has placed in you, and it doesn't serve the world around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. - We are children of God, and we are each called to glorify God by allowing the gifts He has placed in us to shine through to the world. The world needs more light, more Christ, more love. Don't be afraid to display the light God has placed in you.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Every one of us is called to let our light shine. Being the best self you can be will benefit both you and others. Once you accept that God has made you great, you allow yourself to shine... this encourages other to recognize their own greatness, and begin to free themselves from the chains of fear.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).

Encouragement for This Month's Challenge

I know I haven't really been keeping up with my blog very well, but I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things by participating in WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge (HAWMC). I've been out of the writing/blogging world for a little while, so I hope I'm able to keep up. I'm not sure whether I'll follow the provided daily blog prompt or just write whatever comes to me, but I'm going to try to get a post in each day in April.

That being said, I'm veering from the provided prompts, starting on the very first day!

I was flipping through my journal of quotations that I've found over time and written down for inspiration. I was looking for some encouraging words to help me with the Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge. Here are some of the quotations that I found...


"What we do is but a drop in the ocean. Yet if we did not do it, the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." - Mother Teresa - This is such a powerful message! I think that most of us want to make a difference in this world, but this world is so vast that few of us will make the history books. What we must remember, though, is that God has given each of us special gifts to put to use in our lives. What we do matters, regardless of how small it may seem.


"We won't always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What's important is that you do care and do act." - Charlotte Lunsford - What a great reminder that the little things we do can touch other people's lives in huge ways. I know that I don't always express my care to others, but I try to whenever I can. Just letting someone know that you're there can mean the world to him/her.


"I expect to pass through this world by once. Any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to another fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." - Stephen Grellet - We are only given one chance in this world... that's actually quite a relief to me... I try to look for ways that I can show kindness to others, even if it's a simple act. We don't get a second chance at this life, so we must make due with the hand we've been dealt. Everyone faces their own obstacles and battles in this world, but we can help each other along this journey by showing care, kindness, and understanding.


This post was written as part of the Health Activist Writer's Awareness Challenge (HAWMC).