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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Migraine Awareness Month Blogging Challenge #27: In My Head & Heart

There are several people that inspire me to keep trying and not give up, despite my Migraines.

My Husband - Jeremy has always been a huge support and encouraging partner. He tries his best to understand my Migraines. He goes with me to doctor appointments. He's truly seen me at my worst... and he loves me anyway.

He knows that in my heart, I don't want to give up... and he reminds me of that. He cheers me on, even when the achievement is seemingly minor. He helps me so much (with tasks around the house, etc), but he encourages me to do what I need to so that I can live the best quality life I can with this disease (sometimes that means challenging myself to do something I haven't done in a while). He doesn't make me feel bad for my memory problems, my inability to help more around the house, having to cancel plans at the last minute, and so many other limitations I now have.

He helps me hold onto hope, and I'm so very grateful that he's my life partner.

My Family - My family has always been behind me, supporting and encouraging me. I lived with my parents for a little while following the accident, so they've seen me through some very dark times. I don't really remember much about the months after the accident (I literally had to write things down as they happened, or they'd be gone forever), but I know that I couldn't have made it through without them.

My mom went with me to all of my doctor appointments for at least the first year after the accident, and always asks for updates on how appointments went. My dad is always such a calming presence in my life, and I know that he knows and understands me in ways that many others don't. My sister has also been a so supportive and encouraging, and it means the world to me.

My family is my solid foundation and constant in the midst of life's storms, and I'm so very blessed to have them behind me no matter what.

My Friends - I rarely communicate with most of my friends. But, I do have a friend or two that have taken some steps to try to better understand Migraine and my experience living with it - and I'm so grateful that they have. They don't mind if I need to keep the lights low, keep my sunglasses on, and they show compassion (but, thankfully, not pity). I know that they're busy with their own lives, but I cherish the times I get to chat with them (in person, on the phone, texts, email, snail mail - any way that we can communicate). 

Online support communities
My Online Friends - I've met some dear friends in the online world, most that I probably never would've been blessed to know without the common link of Migraine. They have provided me strength, support, hope, prayers, and friendship. I can always count on them to understand and accept me the way that I am. They've helped me through some of the roughest times; but they're also there to cheer me on, celebrate achievements (no matter how small), and to offer words of kindness and love.

My Stubborn Self - I've always been a persistent and determined person. I won't stop trying to find relief. But, meanwhile, I'm trying to create and maintain a life that includes living within my current limitations. I'll never give up hope - I may have trouble holding on sometimes, but I have a support system that will hold onto hope when it's slipping from me.

My Faith / My God - I put up a wall and was so angry with God for some time after my accident. But, at some point, I came around and have been trying to trust Him more (this isn't to say that I never feel frustrated or angry with God, but it's much less frequently and shorter-lived).

God has provided for me / us in so many different ways. He provided for us financially through times with mounting medical costs and Jeremy being unemployed. He continues to give me the strength to make it through each moment. He blesses me in so many different ways, despite my chronic Migraines.

I don't understand why God brought me to this place of chronic pain. But, I'm trusting Him to work in and through me. I can't say that I'm happy to be a chronic Migraineur, but it's bringing me closer to my God and some of my family... it's made me slow down and live more "in the moment / in the now"... it's helping me to embrace and cherish the good moments, and try hard to let go of the moments that try to consume me... and it's reminding me to be filled with gratitude, even for simple or small blessings.

I believe that sometimes the greatest blessings are born out of brokenness.

This post was written as part of the Migraine Awareness Month Blogging Challenge (MAMBC), which is initiated by www.FightingHeadacheDisorders.com and the National Migraine Awareness Month is initiated by the National Headache Foundation (NHF).