Be Present

Today's challenge is to describe something peaceful with as much sensory imagery as I can (describing the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings).

Rhythmic breathing, a small breeze against my skin, the sound of each footstep in succession, and pure drive and determination to complete the challenge.

While it may not sound like something peaceful, running was the best outlet for my emotions (all of them). I found peace in being out running on the road... competing, fighting the urge to quit, and working through my thoughts. There's nothing like it. I haven't been able to run in... 10 years. Can that be right?! I injured myself in 2001, went through physical therapy, and was injured again in 2002. I miss it terribly!


This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).

Ekphrasis Post

Today's challenge is to find a Flickr Image in Creative Commons that inspires me in some way (positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes. Brave bonus: Publish your free writing without editing!

Photo by ghayty

The caption that ghayty included with the above photo was:

"We must always have old memories and young hopes" (Arsene Houssaye)

I think that those living with chronic pain tend to try to hold tightly to their memories of a time without pain (or at least when it was more manageable). It can be difficult to come to terms with having to face life with chronic pain, and we shouldn't abandon our memories, but we mustn't live in (or stay in) our memories. We need to live in the moment. We can look toward the future... from where we are now, not where we'd hoped we would be. Our hopes from before the chronic pain may have to be changed or adapted... some may no longer be possible... but, we should continue having hope.

There's another quote that would work beautifully for this photo:

"God gave us memories that we might have roses in December" (J. M. Barry)

I love this quote. I absolutely love roses, and this quote paints such a lovely picture... roses in the cold, harsh winter months. Our memories are extremely powerful. They can bring us to tears, make us laugh, or otherwise re-live that moment.

In the photo above, the brightness of the roses beautifully contrast the black and white beneath them. I think it's important to remember that, even in the darkest times (e.g., pain, depression), there is always hope and beauty... if only we look.

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).

LOL Post (Gamarjobat)

Source: talktoyouforever

Today's challenge is to write a post about something that made me laugh (a moment, video, picture, blog post, etc...).

Humor and laughter are extremely important for everyone to have in their lives, but perhaps especially for those living with chronic pain. An article that I found interesting was Laughter in the Best Medicine: The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter.

Laughter is contagious, and may just be "the best medicine." Laughter is good for the mind and the body. It can boost your immune system, diminish pain, relax muscles, and help protect you from the damaging effects of stress... in addition to adding joy to your life, easing anxiety and fear, relieving stress, improving mood, and strengthening relationships.

There are theories as to why humor and laughter ease your pain... but, the why doesn't really matter, if you're a chronic pain sufferer... all that's important is that it eases your pain. And, even if it doesn't eliminate your pain, it can boost your spirits and bring some joy into your life on some of the more difficult days. Accept it as a gift and a blessing, when you're able to find something that makes you laugh.

I've been blessed with a husband that has always been able to make me laugh. I think it's one of my husband's life missions to make me laugh (and he's very good at it). I'm reminded every day how important it is to have laughter in your life. I'm the "too serious" type, while Jeremy is the "laid back" type. Luckily, his strength in "rolling with the punches" and finding humor in everyday things has helped me immensely living with chronic pain. Some days, though, I just can't laugh. I may feel some joy on the inside, but just can't laugh on the outside. Sometimes, just hearing my husband laugh (which happens A LOT), puts a smile on my face... which is a step closer to laughter.

I'd like to share something that my husband shared with me. It makes me laugh every time I see it! Just as a warning, some of you may not find this funny. But, we think it's hilarious! It starts out a little slow, so if you find yourself getting bored with it, at least watch from 4:20 to the end. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

http://youtu.be/0-5QMRgXreY

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).

"Best of" Post (Fear in the Life of a Chronic Migraineur)

Today's challenge is to grab a post from my archives and repost it, adding a few sentences at the beginning to frame it, writing why I chose it, why I liked it, and why it should be shared again.

With Thanksgiving coming up next week, I'm facing fear... fear of the unknown. Am I going to feel okay for the Thanksgiving festivities? Will I be able to handle being around so many people all day long? How long will it take me to recover from the day?

Fear comes up a lot in my life. So, I'd like to re-share a post that I wrote in October 2010. The post is titled Fear in the Life of a Chronic Migraineur:

Fear is something that I try to ignore - you know, just sweep it under the rug. But, fear in the life of a person with chronic pain builds up quickly, and it cannot stay contained under the rug for long... it must be acknowledged and dealt with.... much easier said than done!

Fear is a constant struggle for those battling any chronic illness. The fear of being unable to complete a task, fear that the pain is going to become or remain unbearable, fear that medications aren't going to help, etc... These are things that we battle daily, almost continually. Fear runs through all different areas of life - physical, emotional, spiritual, personal, professional, relational, financial, etc...

My fears are numerous and many are unspoken. Most of them are centered on the future... Will the pain ever lessen or cease? Will I ever live a "normal" life? Will I be able to return to and complete graduate school? Will I be able to return to work? Will I be able to have kid(s) - and be the type of mother I want to be? Basically, what kind of future can/will I have with chronic pain?

Fear and depression are both familiar to many people that live with chronic illness. I fear falling into depression... yet again. I fear depression's hold on my life. I fear being thrust into the darkness and the feelings of loneliness that comes with depression. But, fear casts me farther into the depths of depression.

I try to lead as close to a normal life as I can, despite having chronic pain; but it is difficult. My pain can become debilitating and take me out at a moment's notice... for an unknown amount of time. It's difficult to plan or commit to anything ahead of time and I hate having to back out of plans at the last minute.

The irrational (but very real for many living in chronic pain) reality is that there is even fear during the "good" times. When I feel "good" (a relative term), I find myself consciously fighting fearful thoughts that the bad will soon come/return to ruin it.

I honestly wish I had a list of ways to overcome these (and other) fears, but I don't. My advice is this:

1. Be honest with yourself about what your fears are.
2. Share your fears with a trusted friend or loved one.
3. If you feel that you cannot share or handle your fears alone - seek professional help.
4. Know that you are NOT alone!

This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).

A Comment as a Blog Post

Image by Big Grey Mare via Flickr

Today's challenge is to pick someone else's post (from the past or from today) and write a comment to them. Write that comment as your blog post for today, linking back to them to let them know you were inspired.

I read a blog post titled Shit Happens - Use it to Fertilize the Flowers by Wendy at Transform Your Chronic Life, and was truly inspired. So, today I offer this comment to Wendy...

Wendy,

I wanted to let you know that your blog post, Shit Happens - Use it to Fertilize the Flowers, really inspired me.

You're right, shit happens. But, we can keep the things that go wrong from paralyzing or destroying us. I love the idea of using the "shit" as motivation!

I feel like I can relate to many of your examples of "using shit to fertilize the flowers." Sometimes it can be difficult to remember to look for the positives, in the midst of the negatives; so I appreciate the reminder.

New symptoms = Fodder for articles
Cuts in income = Creative ways to use what I already have
Fatigue flares = Good reason to slow down and take better care of myself
Higher pain levels = Excuse to enjoy relaxing activities more often (like massages)

I wanted to let you know that I admire your attitude, especially trying to work and hold it all together while living with chronic pain. I really needed to hear the reminder that we really should be saying, "How can I?" not "I can't."

Blessings,
Jamie


This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).

Let it Be

Today's challenge is to write about something that bothers me or weighs on me. Let it go. Talk out the letting go process and how I'm going to be better to myself for it.

It can be difficult for me to refrain from feeling guilty about so much. I hate that others might view me as lazy... but, they don't know what really goes on with me.

Sometimes, I have difficulty getting much done around the apartment. Even if the dishes aren't put up, the laundry isn't done, there are papers everywhere, and the dust is building up, that doesn't mean that I'm not doing the best I can. It bothers me to no end to not have things picked up the way I'd like them... I'm not sure whether it's the fact that they aren't put away, or if it's that them not being put away is a stark reminder that I have so many limitations.

I'm going to try to remember that, as long as I do the best I can each day, I should feel good about myself. I've always been too hard on myself, but it's more detrimental to my health now more than ever. So, when I have "good" days, I'll do my best to enjoy them and be productive / get things done. But, I'm going to try much harder not to beat myself up for having less productive, "bad" days.


This post was written as part of the National Health Blog Posting Month (NHBPM).